From the Core Values Series: Love your Enemies

In a section of “the Sermon on the Mount”, Jesus says in Matthew 5:43-48:

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Over the past few weeks I have spoken to you about love - it’s difficulties and rewards.  We are commanded to love God, because only He can satisfy us.  The idols we make for ourselves - riches, the approval of others, our own egotism -  will always let us down.

But here, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives us the most difficult command about whom we are to love - our enemies!

What was the situation for the Jews at the time said Jesus made this command?  The Jews lived under an oppressive government led by the Romans.  The Jews hated living under Roman rule.  While they were free to worship, they still had to pay taxes to Rome through reviled Jewish tax collectors, people considered to be traitors. Roman centurions roamed the land and could basically make Jews stop whatever they were doing and force them to perform servile work.

Jesus refers to this situation right before he tells us to love our enemies. “But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.”  Of course the people of His day would have thought of the Romans, but Jesus still speaks to us about all who oppress or hate us.  

Through these examples we see that Jesus wants us to be courageous and selfless towards our persecutors than to return violence with violence and evil with evil.  Now he does not us to offer ourselves up for abuse.  After all when Jesus was arrested and slapped by officer of the chief priest, He did not turn His other cheek to be slapped.  As with so much He teaches, Jesus is concerned with the state of our souls and the actions that result from our attitudes.  If we are courageous and humble people, we will not want to strike back at our oppressors and return evil for evil. We will want to repay evil with good.

We see examples of this in the Bible. Joseph the favorite son of Jacob, who was sold into slavery by his brothers, but rose to great prominence in Egypt.  When a famine broke out in Canaan, his brothers went to him to buy grain.  He forgave them and was able to save his family and bring them and his elderly father to the protection of Egypt.  

David, when King Saul wanted to kill him, did not kill Saul when he had the chance.  What did Jesus say as he was being nailed onto the cross?  “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  The first Christian martyr, Stephen, a martyr being someone who dies for his beliefs, prayed as he was being stoned to death, “Father, do not hold this sin against them.”

What can help us overcome our hate for our enemies and pray for them?  The Rev. Martin Luther King, the Great Civil Rights Leader and a man who knew the hatred of people as much as anyone, said  we should first look at ourselves.  In his sermon titled, Loving your Enemies, he said , “...we must face the fact that an individual might dislike us because of something that we’ve done deep down in the past, some personality attribute that we possess, something that we’ve done deep down in the past and we’ve forgotten about it; but it was that something that aroused the hate response within the individual. That is why I say, begin with yourself. There might be something within you that arouses the tragic hate response in the other individual.”

He further says, “A second thing that an individual must do in seeking to love his enemy is to discover the element of good in his enemy, and every time you begin to hate that person and think of hating that person, realize that there is some good there and look at those good points which will over-balance the bad points.”

Finally he says, “Another way that you love your enemy is this: When the opportunity presents itself for you to defeat your enemy, that is the time which you must not do it. There will come a time, in many instances, when the person who hates you most, the person who has misused you most, the person who has gossiped about you most, the person who has spread false rumors about you most, there will come a time when you will have an opportunity to defeat that person. It might be in terms of a recommendation for a job; it might be in terms of helping that person to make some move in life. That’s the time you must not do it. That is the meaning of love. In the final analysis, love is not this sentimental something that we talk about. It’s not merely an emotional something. Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all men. It is the refusal to defeat any individual.” (italics mine)  These are the words of a man who fought tirelessly to bring to African Americans the same rights held by whites.  For his efforts he was persecuted, jailed, and finally murdered.

We have to pray for our enemies.  Pray for them as you would yourself. Something will change.  I promise, because I have seen it in my own life.  I don’t know if it was I who changed, or whether it was my enemy.  But the animosity I held toward my enemy disappeared.  

If we don’t love our enemies we build up hate within ourselves and deform our character through spite, retaliation, and the anger and rage born of hatred.

If you have someone in your life your consider an enemy, through prayer and love you can help them change their attitude toward you, or you will notice a change in your own heart and come to realize the person is not really your enemy at all, but rather a person just like you with all the faults, bad habits, and selfishness that come with being a fallen human being who depends on God’s grace for forgiveness and changed hearts.

As I have said before, despite our faults and sins, God loves us, and we must imitate God by loving everyone, friend and foe.  By doing so, we can work to follow Jesus’ command to be “perfect as (our) Heavenly Father is perfect.”

From the Core Values Series: Love for Parents

In Ephesians 6:1-3, the apostle Paul writes:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” this is the first commandment with a promise, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land (the Lord thy God hath given thee.)".

Here’s another commandment about love. Why should we love our parents? Because God them them the responsibility of raising us, and they love us in a way we as children don’t understand.  They are due our love, respect, and obedience in return.

What do I mean by saying children don’t really understand their parents’ love?

It wasn’t until August 30, 1995, at the age of 34, I understood what parental love was like.  That’s the day my son Michael was born, and I was instantly overcome with a feeling of love that was all consuming and so real that I could feel it work its way every fiber of my being.

Almost instantly, I was a different person, and cared for a life I considered more important than my own.  This love I felt for my son, and continue to feel for him, is not particular only to me or Mrs. Cusack.  Your parents have that same love for you and you can return that love to them by appreciating all they do for you by loving, respecting, and obeying them.

It's easy to love our parents when we are young. They take care of us, give us what we need, often give us stuff we don't need, tuck us in at night, and read us our favorite bedtime stories.  They love taking us to the zoo, the beach, Disney World, and and all these places where they can watch us delight in new discoveries and the wonders of the world.  

Parents find great joy in the delight of their children; so much so, they will make great personal sacrifices to ensure their children feel loved, content and happy.

Now I want to speak more to our middle and upper school students.

As we get older and age into our adolescent and teenage years something changes.  We don’t mean it to change. It just does. We want our privacy.  We don't want our parents getting into our "business."   We might not tell our parents we love them. For that matter they might not tells us either!  There are no more  kisses at bedtime. In fact, if they came into our room, especially without knocking, we get upset.  Communication with our parents changes.  We talk to them only when we want something or when we have to talk ourselves out of trouble!  We begin to share our problems and secrets only with our closest friends.

All of this signals our growing sense of independence and the natural desire to begin creating an identity of our own apart from our parents.

After all, didn’t we witness that very thing when, as a twelve year old, Jesus stayed in Jerusalem to talk to the Temple scholars and never said one word about it to His parents.  No doubt an unintentional lack of communication on His part and very normal for a young man His age.  But when they found Him, Jesus obeyed His parents and went back with them to Nazareth where, Luke tells us at the end of chapter two in his gospel, “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”

Jesus was obedient to His parents.  We, however, don’t always follow Jesus’ example.  As we get older we can often fall into the trap of thinking our parents just want to make our lives miserable.  “Clean your room!”  “Make your bed” “Take out the trash.”  “No, I will not allow you to play that game.”  “No you can’t stay out that late!”  “Who else is going to the movies?  Do their parents know?”  “Are boys going?” “Are girls going?”      “No, you can’t go on a date yet!  You’re only 15!”  “Do not text while you’re driving!”  All you teenagers could add to the list.

What you probably don’t understand yet is that being a parent is hard.  When you were born, you didn’t come with a manual.  Your parents always want to make sure they are doing the right things and making the right decisions in raising you.  They want you to be happy and successful in life.  There’s very little they will not personally sacrifice to help you achieve worthy goals.

As you grow up, however,  it’s hard for your parents to let go and give you more independence.  It’s not that they want to keep you around forever, at least I hope not!  They’re concerned for you, because teenagers don’t think through the ramifications of their actions.  If we do things we know we shouldn’t do, we don’t think of all the bad things that can happen.  We only think of the “fun” we’re going to have.

Because they were once teenagers, your parents give you seemingly very strict guidelines to live by and get very upset when you don’t. But that is only because they want to keep you safe.  It’s hard for them to watch you make mistakes and get hurt.  They watch the news and know bad things happen to teenagers.  

With this in mind, how can you act lovingly toward your parents?

• Invite your parents into a relationship with you. Tell them about your day and don't just say 'fine.'  That's really hard for us boys!
• Realize that they aren't here to ruin your life!  After God, they are our greatest gift and deserve great honor.
• Listen to what your parents tell you. They know a lot more than what you give them credit for.
• Unless it's outside the bounds of morality, obey your parents. God first, parents second. But a very important second!
• Pray for them!!! Your parents need your prayers. They are not perfect.  LIke you, they make mistakes.

Don't:

• Do not be selfish! They want to be a part of your life and want you to be a part of theirs too. Ask them how their day was and really listen.
• Don't fight or yell at them. Be respectful, they gave you life.
• And whatever you do, avoid being angry or resentful towards them. If you are, pray deeply for insight into why you feel that way and immediately meet with your parents to resolve the anger or resentment!

Please never forget, you parents love you in a way you will never understand until you become parents.  They have a great responsibility: God expects them to raise you to become the person He intends you to be.

From the Core Values Series: Love for God

Love for God

Today we’re going examine what it means to love God and why we should.

First of all we are taught these commandments from the Old Testament:

Exodus 20

1 And God spake all these words, saying,

2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

In Deuteronomy 6:4-5, Moses tells the Children of Israel this:  

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:

5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Then in the New Testament, in Matthew 22, when asked by the Pharisees which was the greatest commandment Jesus said,

37....Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

Why would we be commanded  to love God above everything else and with all our hearts, souls, and mind? In fact, how can we be commanded to love anything? Isn’t love a feeling? Isn’t it something beyond our control that suddenly swells up in our hearts as if we have been shot by Cupid’s arrow?  It certainly can be, but feelings, emotions, and infatuations come and go.  

We often don’t think about love beyond feelings. It’s very important to understand that love is also an act of the will.

The Greek language makes distinctions between different kinds of love.  It has four different words for love.  When Jesus spoke of loving God, Matthew uses the greek word, “agape.”  What is “agape?” Quite often “agape” is defined as the type of love God has for us.  C.S. Lewis, the author of the Narnia books, in his book The Four Loves, calls agape “gift-love.” It’s a love that is a gift of self.

Remember, God did not need to create anything.  He is perfectly happy in Himself from all eternity.  But St. John tells us in I John 4:8 , “God is love” - agape.  God created us to partake and revel in His own joy and love.

Being made in God’s image, we too enjoy creating and giving.  

For example, how many of you have made something to give to your parents, grandparents, or even boyfriends or girlfriends? I’m sure your refrigerators are full of pictures and artwork you have proudly and lovingly given to your parents.  That is an example of gift-love, or agape.  You didn’t have to make anything. (Well maybe Mrs. Klempin or  Mrs. Arrington made you make something!)  You could have just gone to the store and bought a card, gift card, or something else to show your love or appreciation.  But when you make something and give it to someone, you are giving a part of yourself in the gift, and that makes it very meaningful.

Again, God created us for no other reason than to give and share his great love, His agape, with us. In the gospels we see Jesus, the Son of God, the image of the invisible God (Colossians 1:13), demonstrate gift-love or agape, throughout his life and ministry.

He was always giving to people.  He forgave people their sins, he healed the paralyzed, cleansed lepers, cured the blind, raised the dead, fed thousands, proclaimed the true love of God to all the people, and finally showed the greatest example of gift-love or agape by paying the penalty for our sins through his death on the cross.

Nevertheless, in His day many people refused the the love and gifts Jesus offered.  The rich young ruler is a perfect example.  Jesus offered him to opportunity to join him in his ministry.  But when Jesus told him he needed to go sell everything he had and give it to the poor, the gospels tell us “the young man went away sorrowful, for he had many possessions.”  He could not receive the gift Jesus offered him, because he had made an idol of his possessions. They were more important to him than the love and blessedness Jesus offered.

The Pharisees, the Jewish religious leaders  of the day, also rejected Jesus’ offer of God’s love. They thought they knew better than him and thoroughly rejected Him.

It's the same with us today. Jesus offers his gifts to us, but we either think we know better than Jesus, are too distracted to pay attention to him, or are more interested in the idols we make for ourselves to care.

So now we come back to the question I asked at the beginning, “Why are we commanded to love God above everything else?”  Because nothing else can perfectly satisfy us as can God.  No created thing can give us what God can give us.  Things cannot bring us permanent joy, lasting satisfaction, or peace of mind.  

We all know how it works.  The minute the next new “thing” comes out, we have to have it, because it’s better than the last thing we got.  That can apply to phones, tablets, clothes, food, cars, and the list could go on

We look for love, and the peace, joy, and satisfaction that go with it in all the wrong places.  And besides, what “thing”, and I’m not talking about people or even pets, but what other created things can love us back?

So to go to the true source of our happiness, we have to stay focused on loving God by listening to him in worship, prayer, and reading the scriptures.  

God cannot give us His gift of love is we are unavailable or not paying attention to Him.  If we are looking in all the wrong places rather than at Him, He can’t give His joy and peace that pass all understanding.

St. Augustine, who lived from 354 to 430 A.D., spent many years looking for love in all the wrong places. But finally gave up his self-made idols of worldly fame and the fleshly pleasures of having a live-in girlfriend for nineteen years, and surrendered himself to God.

Having thought on his search for deep, lasting love, peace, and contentment, he summed it up better than anyone, when he wrote in his masterpiece The Confessions, “For You (O Lord) have formed us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in you.”

We all need to work on loving God and resting in Him.

From the Core Values Series: Love for Neighbor

Love for Neighbor

Last week, I discussed God’s love for us and the greatest commandment: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind.” Then if you remember, Jesus mentioned a second commandment: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  

In Luke 10 Jesus tells this to a lawyer, and then the lawyer, “desiring to justify himself”, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” The Lawyer simply wanted Jesus to say, “ Your neighbor includes all your friends!” But instead, Jesus replied with this parable:

30 ... “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”

We all know this story as the parable of the Good Samaritan.  You see, the Jews and Samaritans hated each other, and no one would ever think either would do good for the other.  So to make His Jewish audience really think, Jesus didn’t talk about a poor Samaritan who was robbed, beaten, left for dead, and then helped by a nice Jew.  No, by making the Samaritan the good character, his audience would have been taken surprised and maybe even scandalized.  After all Jesus was a Jew.  Why would he make the Samaritan “the good guy?”

But the point Jesus was making wasn’t about good guys vs. bad guys.  He was responding to the question, “Who is my neighbor?”, and His response was basically, “the person you least expect to treat you nicely.”  That would have shocked His audience as much as it shocks us!

It’s easy to love people like ourselves.  It’s easy to love those who love us back and treat us nicely.  But when it comes to people that are not like us or people who don’t like us, we tend to gather in our own little groups and treat everyone else as if they were not as good, or smart, or cool as we are.

So Jesus is telling us we have to love everyone, those like us and those not like us, and the love to which Jesus refers is still agape - gift-love.  Gift-love doesn’t set conditions on love.  It doesn’t say, “I’ll be your friend if…” or “we will make you our friend if…” or “you can be in our group if…”

No, Jesus is telling us we are to say to all people, “I will give you what you need.  You need friendship? I’ll be your friend.  You need help? I’ll help.”  Jesus tells us that loving our neighbor is about being generous to others with our time, our abilities, and even our money.

Sometimes we have to get over our fears of people unlike us before we can love them and show them generosity.  Jesus doesn’t say so, but the Samaritan may very well have needed to get over his dislike of Jews in order to do the right thing for the poor man at the side of the road.  Then he took the time to help the man, bind his wounds, take him to an inn, and even pay for the poor man’s stay there.  The Samaritan was very generous with his time and money by caring for this Jewish stranger.

Francis Bernadone, a young man who lived in the late 12th and early 13th centuries, knew he could not love God completely without loving his neighbor.  Francis was a very good looking, vain young man.  He was the life of the party; he also had a great fear of lepers. Leprosy is a very contagious, disfiguring, and debilitating disease.  But Francis knew in his heart that according to Jesus lepers were his neighbors just as much as his friends were.  

One day Francis saw a leper coming down the road.  His first instinct was to keep his distance, but realizing this was his chance to show his love for God and neighbor, he overcame his fear and revulsion, went up to the leper, hugged him, and kissed him on the cheek.  

Now, suddenly, Francis was truly free to love God and neighbor.  He was able to conquer the one thing that held him back.  Through an act of kindness to a leper who craved the friendly touch of another, but never got it because of his disease, Francis became so generous he no longer wanted anything for himself but depended totally to take care of him. We know Francis Bernadone now as St. Francis of Assisi.

We cannot love our neighbor the way God loves us without first loving God.  Because God is very generous to us, and we must in turn be generous to others.

And what are different ways we can show generosity?

• We can offer to meet other people’s real needs.
• We can put our talents at the service of others
• We can do things for others, even when it’s inconvenient
• We can listen to others without being judgemental.
• We can do good for others without expecting or asking for anything in return, for example when we participate in Operation Christmas Child.
• And finally, we have to forgive others. Don’t hold grudges!  As we say every day in the Lord’s prayer  “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  If we want God’s forgiveness, we must absolutely offer our forgiveness to those who sin against us.

If we can do these things daily, if we can be generous with all people, we are on the path to loving “our neighbors as ourselves.”

From Core Values Series - Respect for Self outline

Self-Respect

·      Where it does not come from

o   Does not come from what others tell you to think about yourself

o   Doesn't come from a need for "self-expression."

o   Doesn't come from drawing attention to ourselves

o   Doesn't come from a false sense of "feeling good" about oueselves

·      Comes from the acknowledgement we are made in the image of God

o   Allows us to live lives of sanity.  Means you are living in accordance with God's law, just as we do with the laws of physics

§  This means we take our ourselves seriously as a people with freedom and responsibility and not just as mere animals driven by instinct and the desire for pleasure

§  When we don't seriously accept ourselves as people with freedom and responsibility, and do what we shouldn't,  we damage ourselves interiorly just that little bit, and those little bits add up over time and that damages our self-respect. (used lying as an example)

o   Self respect is the basis for our happiness and participation in the world

o   If we don't have self-respect it will show in our in our attitudes, our appearance, and our dealings with others

§  We don't think we can contribute to group activities such as music, sports or theater

§  We begin to think we are not worthy of being loved and then we can't develop true friendships

§  Then our self-esteem suffers, and we begin to look to gain self esteem in the wrong ways and from the wrong places I mentioned at the beginning

o   We must show respect for ourselves because of God's respect and love for us.

§  God gave us free will.  We can always choose to do right, but we can choose to do wrong and often do. It's called sin.

§  And likewise, we can choose to respect and love ourselves.

o   God's love for us is a reality even though we might not always feel it.  Don't be fooled!  Nothing we do can make God quit loving us. Of course we can do things that cause us not to love God.  But God is always faithful.

o   John 3:16 " “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

·      Christ did not come into this world for the fun of it.  He became human to show God's love for us and to die on our behalf for us out of a sacrificial love that has its perfection only in God.

o   God's Everlasting Love - Romans 8:31-39

·      31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

·      32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

·      33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.

·      34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

·      35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

·      36 As it is written,

·      “For your sake we are being killed all the day long;

·      we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

·      37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

·      38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,

·      39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.